Bush in Perdition
One day in the distant future, George Dubya passes away. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you
what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad
as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty
good, so the devil opened the first room.
In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in
and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in
hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I
don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a
sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my
shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks
all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a
spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she
does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."