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from At Work and Bored.com


Said in Court Three

Submitted by: Chuckie

These are 10 things people actually said in court, word for word.

21. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

22. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

23. Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

24. Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

25. Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

26. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

27. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

28 Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

29. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

30. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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